if there's one thing i cant tolerate, its hypocripsy. or perhaps im unable to accept hearing my imperfections from others. someday i got to learn that its only human to be this way. and i learnt not to speak about my own expectations because people just wouldnt understand. afterall, everyone sees things from their own perspective because we humans are all damn bloody selfish. so whatever you do, you'd only see things from your own point of view. and i admit i must have been a total a*hole for failing to be more sensitive? just when i thought i WAS sensitive enough. i should have thought through everything before i spoke because we all have different expectations. so perhaps whats bad to me is good to others. its time i learn things the hard way. and now you made me wonder if my trying to spare a thought for you and trying to be sensitive was actually worthwhile. i guess not. i cant take it lying down when you pretend nothing had happened and you just go blabber to a complete a* .
maybe im really too scared to see my own flawed personality. im used to running and evading issues and im no longer confident enough to face myself. when i plunge into such abyss of almost self-hatred and unhappiness and spoilt days i tend to sink in deeper because i almost came to hate myself. and because of this im not even able to accept myself, how am i supposed to accept others in my life? and im turning and running from everything i dont know what to do and i dont wish to do anything else. sometimes i think its enough to kill me just by making me reflect upon my own mistakes. i really feel like i've died a thousand times over. and in times like this i wonder just when will all this turmoil end.
the above was adapted from my od. i've been saying i wanted to start working hard. silence is golden. this time round its better not to say anything because words can kill. and i dont understand why people like to judge so much when they barely know others. what gave them the right to assume? and in their shallow thoughts they satisfied their urge to feel smart because they know they really arent. jumping to conclusions surely isnt the way to show that you've got brains and are using them.
*jAye at words
Made a FASHION statement
3:20 AM