Fashion<3

not going ndpp later. i feel really guilty for pangsehing shifu! and so i am going to repay his kindness by studying harder. i hope.

went back to the childcare again, this time to help them brush up on the dance for their performance next friday. had a great time terrorising the kids and playing with them. sebastian went to penang and so nobody's singing "hongmaomao" anymore. boo. he's so cute! anyway the children are really hard to manage! and i hope i hadn't appeared too fierce to them. but i am fierce ANYWAY.

time to start working, but i am not. actually im getting tired of blogging, much as i love to blog. after reading yeda's entries, i cant help but think about what she said. its pretty true that i always classify my daily happenings into "bloggable and not bloggable" events. blogging was supposed to be spontaneous, that inspiration in that moment in time. oh well. its time to take a break and refocus perhaps.

some photos!

lai, vv, ll and i. i just realised i zao geng but its just shorts! i still think clara reminds me of myself when i was young. equally skinny! she's sitting beside me! the only difference is that i have a da lian (big face, right junfu?) and her's is ba zhang lian (face the size of a hand). haha

thats the class girls with adrian! haha he looks so ke lian. he was thinking where to stand because he cant put his arms around us! and he ended up squatting while we were "shooting" him. haha

and that's with the guys! the guys are damn stupid lah. look at jiayong. =X they look happy together thougH!

and thats for all. time to start repaying. and thank junfu for the photos! =D dont complain i didnt update. but i guess its time to take a break from blogging. hopefully these photos will satisfy all your desires of wanting to see me and hear from me. hahaha. =D till then. see ya all and HAPPY BIRTHDAY WANYAN!!

Made a FASHION statement

9:41 PM

And now I will show you the most excellent way:
If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give up all I possess and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient; love is kind; it does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will pass away; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection, then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.
- I Corinthians, chapter 13

i really love this section of the bible. it was the motivating force that got me reading the bible. dont read too much into it, im not longing for love but i just like the way the bible described it. sometimes love takes many disguised form and i know i dont count my blessings. i have loving parents who've slogged their whole lives to provide my siblings and i with a good life. and i love my them all though i dont show it often. i remember i once spoke to pam about this section of the bible, and she said that love should be as described above. she told me that the right one should exhibit these traits and i still believe her because thats what i believe too. i can sense the bliss just by reading this section. a walk to remember included this paragraph too, and nicholas sparks wove this in perfectly. so nice!

i like sitting where im sitting in class now because im sitting in a corner where i think im easily missed out. i like that kind of feeling. i dont liek to be forced into doing things unless im ready. this applies to many aspects of my life, which includes studying. havent catch the mugging virus so its not so easy to get started. oh well. i had a nice talk with yihui today. im so glad to have her in my class. someone who empathise and truly understands. we're all blessed in many ways, and most of the time those kind, loving acts from the people around us go unnoticed because we're too caught up in our own worlds.

celebrating mum's birthday tomorrow. have to give meeting ki and zj a miss. so sad! i miss talking to ki. life's pretty miserable now for me. but i know i'll tide through, for The wind of anger blows out the lamp of intelligence. all nice inspirational quotes to get me going. nothing beats having nice, supportive, encouraging friends and seniors around to keep me going. its everything that keeps me sane.

Made a FASHION statement

4:21 AM

im blogging so often lately. need to get some things off my chest. alvin leong was "bullying" me today in class. ok lah i think i was being stupid anyway. and i seriously think i'll fail gp. and i dont want that to happen. maybe im going to ask ms joanne lee for help. she'll laugh at me for being a monkey again. =X

i've got so little time and yet so much to do. i really fear what's going to happen 4 months later. i guess with so little time, the most i can do is to stop complaining and start working. afterall, i am struggling with gp and s papers. and even econs isnt up to the grade yet. the stress just mounts when teachers keep coming in and saying they expect so much so much from us because we are s5a. others think we're damn smart but they didnt get to see the stress we're burdened with. and we're not really all that they think we are.

and i should really stay focused since i have so little time left. stop thinking, and stop letting my thoughts run wild should really help. i guess everything's that meant to be will be, and i wouldnt bother, and i wouldnt dare to try doing anything about it. at least there's a small little guarantee in mugging. a more worthwhile investment if you would like to call it. whatever the case, i quit thinking. there's only 1 way ahead of me, and now there's no turning back.

Made a FASHION statement

4:53 AM

maybe.

if there's one thing i cant tolerate, its hypocripsy. or perhaps im unable to accept hearing my imperfections from others. someday i got to learn that its only human to be this way. and i learnt not to speak about my own expectations because people just wouldnt understand. afterall, everyone sees things from their own perspective because we humans are all damn bloody selfish. so whatever you do, you'd only see things from your own point of view. and i admit i must have been a total a*hole for failing to be more sensitive? just when i thought i WAS sensitive enough. i should have thought through everything before i spoke because we all have different expectations. so perhaps whats bad to me is good to others. its time i learn things the hard way. and now you made me wonder if my trying to spare a thought for you and trying to be sensitive was actually worthwhile. i guess not. i cant take it lying down when you pretend nothing had happened and you just go blabber to a complete a* .

maybe im really too scared to see my own flawed personality. im used to running and evading issues and im no longer confident enough to face myself. when i plunge into such abyss of almost self-hatred and unhappiness and spoilt days i tend to sink in deeper because i almost came to hate myself. and because of this im not even able to accept myself, how am i supposed to accept others in my life? and im turning and running from everything i dont know what to do and i dont wish to do anything else. sometimes i think its enough to kill me just by making me reflect upon my own mistakes. i really feel like i've died a thousand times over. and in times like this i wonder just when will all this turmoil end.

the above was adapted from my od. i've been saying i wanted to start working hard. silence is golden. this time round its better not to say anything because words can kill. and i dont understand why people like to judge so much when they barely know others. what gave them the right to assume? and in their shallow thoughts they satisfied their urge to feel smart because they know they really arent. jumping to conclusions surely isnt the way to show that you've got brains and are using them.

*jAye at words

Made a FASHION statement

3:20 AM

so pretty right! i love this new blogskin! =D im so lousy at html lah, spent so long editing the blogskin before i was able to publish it. haha

anyway i received an sms and it got me flying over the moon! haha and i realised my blogskin is mainly dark red which reminds me! laid in my bed for 1 whole hour and the same old thoughts just kept flashing through my mind. i dont even know what im doing. i must be crazy

its the premiers to the rush and passion for mugging. better stop thinking.

nice blogskin. haha. =D

*jAye at words

Made a FASHION statement

11:52 PM

had so much fun today! went to night safari with shifu. and i got driven around. finally got to go to night safari. we boarded the tram with a super sweet and pretty guide. and she smiled at me! so pretty! haha the tram was quite good, just that my lousy contacts spoiled the ride. cant see animals that are faraway clearly. i was totally amazed by the indian rhino! so big and slow but MAGNIFICENT. i love the hippos and the rhinos lah! and i actually confused them. the hippos look like they'll make good water beds. anyway im such a loser ok, i was so scared by the suspension bridge! i avoided the bridge after the first time at all costs! was even prepared to walk through the hanging stilts then to walk past the suspension bridge. haha. the creatures of the night show was good. i love the part when the animal walked across the hanging rope. haha i dont even know what its called ok. there were so many cute animals in night safari! like the bushbaby! it was described as being able to teleport because it moves super fast! so cute ok. it has got big eyes and looks ULTRA CUTE. so small and cuddly. haha. oh and i ate ben and jerry's for the first time. i feel that its overrated lah. i think the beppu restaurant serves better ice cream! sis and i ate the peach fantasia. they used peach ice cream and rocher to make the ice cream into the shape of a peach. super creative and nice. ok lah tcc is still the best!

met up with 4g girls yesterday. ki's damn charming ok. she was just buying a jacket and the shop assistant was already mesmerised by her already. haha and even gave her discount on his own accord. there goes his 1++ hour's pay. =D im glad to have such attractive friends! next time can ask her help me buy limited edition stuff from left foot and i can get the stuff at a lower price! yay! anyawy we took neos but hw havent scan and send to us! must wait and then see! its nice because there's all of us looking happy and mad inside! hw and yx must jiayou for your comp! think of me and you all will paddle your way to get champs! hahaha =D

some photos from the hockey outing! can see me in my new haircut. still think i look kind of weird. =X

maro, me, siya, pam and floorball sticks! haha

maro, me and siya! im separating the lovers. lalala i love my mama! so taitai and pretty! =D

siya, maro, me, wanyi and weiling! we are all so lame lah! i miss these lame hockey gatherings!

hockey team rocks my life man. they're the synergists to my craziness and happiness. love all of them! =D and after this week i guess its time to start hitting the books already. so everyone must jiayou! and cy dont belittle yourself ok! keep the faith and im sure you'll tide through and get super good results for As! *=)

im a little hungry now. only ate 2 meals today. and germany portugal match starting soon! i dont know who to support! =( its time to let the passion and responsibility to take charge now. uh huh.

ever a lure, ever a deception. ever a question which i wont get an answer to.

*jAye at words

Made a FASHION statement

11:14 AM

got her with me. yes, miss lady luck. i would say god has never loved me more. but i would wish he bless me the same way during prelims and As! i really got lucky. or did i just underestimated my studying method and all? but no doubt i deserved what i got for gp. i dont want to fail gp during As! can someone help me! my gp, both language and content is hopeless beyond words. and dear old alvin leong commented that my expression is not wrong but it just isnt clear, exactly what miss chong told me back in rv! how to improve? i read newsweek but nothing goes in. and nothing seems to fit in my essays or compre aQs. how? i feel so desperate i dont want to fail gp! I DONT WANT TO FAIL GP.

got back econs mcq. i would say case study was really bad. and i really hope i can get lucky with econs too! maybe i really need to start studying harded and practise essays and disgusting case study and drQ! arghs. and im going to start bucking up on gp. i really want nice looking grades on my cert! like who doesnt right. and really, kairu and yuxi really scared me quite bad. =X somehow i think i need to start opening my brain and filling it with econs, physics and chemistry. need to start memorising no matter how much i HATE it.

last week of fun i guess. still contemplating if i should get the puma bag. just scared i'll waste what little money i have because im not sure if i will continue using the bad next time? sigh! but its half day tomorrow! though it doesnt affect my timetable but its a cause worth rejoicing. shall go to bugis and take another look [probably alot more looks hah] at the bag! and psycho lai to get a bag too and squeeze the aunty dry! bargain!

ali is really damn smart and perfect lah. think she's going to get 4As or at the most 3As 1B and her gp's awefully good too. not forgetting how well she can do for s papers. im like a pea in a garden. arghs. anyway cao ge can really sing! i love him so much! and im looking forward to saturday! nocturnal animals here i come! hahaha and i need help in gp too shifu! and tomorrow im meeting my 4g friends! wonderful life. enjoy all before knowledge and learning starts engulfing me. hurhur. and yeah, nice time meeting up with the hockey girls. maro is smart because she is very alert and sharp. hahahaha. and i love maro so hope she's feeling better! get well soon mama! and my dearest team we should go out after As! again! and all dress up yay! =D

and germany and portugal both got out lah! i dont know who to support for third placing! haha but i think germany will win. =X cant stand cristiano ronaldo. but i still like portugal because figo rocks like TOTALLY!

*jAye at wordS

Made a FASHION statement

1:22 AM

hahaha i had fun out with kairu and yuxi! and they bullied me but still very fun. so funny lah i have ugly hair now. look like little girl and like ah lian. hai. anyway its very funny to go out with 2 of your friends who were primary school best friends. you get to listen to alot of their silly stories and laugh along! they had so much fun laughing at themselves lah. i think next time they should live next to each other, then old already can sit down there and laugh at themselves. so funny! i hope they will keep in contact for a long long time, with me too! i love yuxi and kairu! thanks for the wonderful sunday! *=) and happy belated birthday to kairu too! thanks for meeting me "accidentally" hahah. =D love you 2! we must always keep in touch ok!

went to bugis with shun and rn today. didnt find anything nice. hai so har to find my skirt! how come they dont imitate that skirt! then can buy cheap and nice ones. the velvet skirt was so cute lah! hopefully it isnt too expensive and i can consider buying! lala.

hmmm catching up is good for health. i feel. its good for me at least! i feel so much happier. you know you havent lost some friends though you all seldom talk or meet up. next on the list, 4g, skymy, pl wy ethel, shifu and shuhui! so bu qiao lah shuhui ends work on wednesday and then im returning to school already. sigh.

be strong. somewhere out there you know friends are always there for you till the end of the road. never once will we disappear. and even if you dont see us, we're just behind to catch you in case you fall. someday all this will pass. someday we'll all be happy and fine. someday... this all will come.

*jAye at words

Made a FASHION statement

3:58 AM